Let me dust off the shelf. Okay that is better. I try so hard to write on my blog but life has been so busy. I am finishing up with my fifth to last class from finishing my second masters. Excited you can say that. It has been a long road and time well spend. The thing about graduate school while attending at least it is never ending. Often many try and I give them props ( hell there were times I thought about giving up) but it is not for everyone. You have to be completely committed and have excellent time management skills. Trust me it is not easy and people often ridicule those who fail out of graduate school. But unless you attend it you would never understand.
The apartment is nice and cozy. I adopted two cats named Rosie and Lily. Love them and they are great company. It is so nice to have a nice two bedroom apartment in the city. I love and embrace urban living. Extremely different from suburbs and I love the living on the east side better than the west side of Cleveland. It has been a work in progress and it took awhile to unpack but nonetheless it is home for now.
Work- Going great as usual. Our busy time is coming up so looking forward to impacting lives and promoting my organization at community events. I am not too sure I will traveling as much as I did last year. Time shall tell! My year review is coming up! Show me the money! I have earned it damn straight!
Well moving also comes with changes in relationships. That is all I will say for now. While you may love someone to the moon and back does not mean you can necessarily be with them. Friends you thought would call and see how you are doing never do. I guess that is life- ah well time to have more coffee and suck it up.
Sleep apnea and chronic pain have been the main bitches in my life. I have a sleep study (again) coming up and I am getting tested for fibromyalgia. I cannot sleep and I am constantly exhausted. So there has been some ups and downs in the health department with minor aggravations. But I am trying to take care of it so I just tell myself that. I am sure I will be getting a cpap machine again yet with a new mask.
Vacations- I have to buy a new car so Europe will have to wait another year. But I am going to Vegas in April. Plus I am not sure where else I will visit. Maybe I will just stay home and absorb the beauty of fall of Cleveland. Plenty of stuff to do here.
Many people ask me if I get lonely living alone. I say no. I mean let’s face it we as humans all get lonely. However, overall I keep myself busy trying to get stuff done or clean my apartment or spend time with my cats. So when I start to feel lonely I try to find something to do or I go to my Iheartradio app and listen to the music of my friends. They help me get through.
Well that is all for now. Does anyone read this?
Ahhhh- so all have been quiet on this suburban front as far as family drama- oh except my cousin being a wussy. 37 years old and texts my mom inviting me to her daughter’s birthday party. Really? I text her that she needs go directly to the horse and I have no time to see her or her kid(even though I adore her daughter and my anger my cousin has nothing to do with her). I declined the party as I don’t have time for her shit because she lied to me and took my sister in law’s side. But that is another story.
I guess my brother has been asking a whole lot of questions about how I am doing and what I have been up to. I finally told my mom – tell him to quit asking. He wants to know how my job is doing (well great I am excelling and I am making good money with excellent benefits) don’t dare asking how much. He keeps asking my mom where I am moving and to be honest- I did not tell my mom but I was super ticked that she told him. I don’t want people knowing where I am moving. I am moving to Cleveland and I love my mom dearly but she has always been inclined to tell people everything. I made it clear she is not permitted to tell him my salary and I think she got the hint because I was pretty ticked she told him where I am moving. So to my lovely sister in law- no my mom did not pay for my security deposit nor did she sign my lease. She did not buy my new living room set or give me money to pay my rent. And if she wants to know- I have all my cleared rent checks from the bank if you want me to mail you copies. My mom bought me a vaccum and television a total of 250 bucks lady- oh and a few odds and ends. Thanks Mom! and I am most appreciative but just as I do not know their personal fiances nor do I care. To best honest the first time I thought about my brother was a few weeks ago- when it was his birthday. The day before I saw him briefly- you could tell he wanted to say something but didn’t. I just paid him no mind and went ot my room. My thought for the day was happy birthday asshole.
I paid for my entire vacation which cost me an arm and a leg but hey I enjoyed my time with my mom before I move out. I even paid for my own vacation to Arizona. Holy shit who would have thunk it.
Now I freely admit- I am a diva and a princess. I am a leo and I usually always get my way. If I don’t it upsets me. But I am also a good person and a very kind person. I often make excuses and try to solve other people’s problems.
So getting back to my brother. I believe he wants to try to mend the relationship. He had his chance. I simply was pushed too far. I mean don’t get me wrong I love him- nothing will ever change that but really want nothing to with him as long as he is married to that bitch wife of his. Here are some of the the things I have done for this man.
- Over the course of time- drove all over town picking him up from bars when he was too drunk to drive. If I found him that was pure luck- other than that I spend many hours going from bar to bar to find him.
- Writing letters to judges and the courts on his behalf to get driving privileges back or off probation.
- Helped him with him homework and with research on several occasions.
- Had to almost physically fight off one of his girlfriends who showed up at his apartment when I was watching it. She told me to get the hell out because her and her friend and some strange guy they were with wanted to crash there. I ended up calling the cops and he then broke up with her that but she sent me several harassing messages on facebook.
- Wrote a letter to a senator on his behalf to get him honorably discharged from the Army.
- Was woke up several times in the middle of night when he had a physical or verbal altercation with one of his then girlfriends. Nothing like being woken up in the middle of night by the cops to have to go pick him up.
- Having to track down my mom( one time on vacation) because he was arrested for either driving under influence of alcohol or domestic violence.
- Drove him back and forth to work, school, aa meetings and several other places when he was on probation.
- Helped him apply to school and obtain services from the V.A.
- He slept with several of my female friends behind my back- when I constantly asked him not too hit or do anything with my friends. He left them all with broken hearts and caused friction between me and my friends.
- Had to downright lie to one of my professors when an assignment was due. I was almost finished and then brother had phoned my mom that he was drunk down at his holiday party which made him too drunk to drive. I had to go pick him up.
- He disrespected and embarrassed me when we were at our cousin’s rehearsal dinner and he decides to go home with a lady he befriended. Needless to say he was gone the whole night and returned early morning banging on my hotel room to let him in his room.
- Treated my mom like shit and took her for granted several times. Made her cry and sick with worry.
- Allowed his now wife to completely disrespect my mom and I because stood up to her for her being rude to my mom.
- Threatened to physically assault me and called me the b and c word to boot.
- Continually told me how fat I was- really I didn’t know that!
- Had me constantly take care of my mom when he was either too drunk or not around when my mom had medical problems.
- Bringing home bimbo home to my mom’s home who was in my bathroom smoking. I kicked her ass out real quick.
- Almost breaking a window in my old car when he was yelling at me when he was drunk- I am not sure I remember if he was being picked up from somewhere( I also use to have to go get him at random places to women he befriended at bars
Those are just some the great things that my brother has put me through!
He says no but I think he did not want to hurt my feelings. I misplaced a business card that L had obtained at the airshow and though he denies it. I think he was pissed. I mean I know he knows it was not intentional but it happens. I emailed the guy asking him for another card. But I went home feeling terrible and guility because I know how much he was upset. Not really anything I can do. I went through my car and up down and threw away some long waiting trash – like old papers and mail. I have more to do but I was in a time crunch. I did throw an old pair of shoes- I have been meaning to pitch. I finally found them in my car and when I was as the gas station- away they went into the trash. I did get a lot of stuff thrown away this week and I shredded a lot of stuff like old legal docs and doctor bills. I have to go through my old clothes and donate some to the City Mission in downtown Cleveland.
Right now I am at work- it is a hot one out here but soon enough fall will be here. I truly look forward to this upcoming time of year. I love the smell of fall air and pumpkin spiced lattes at Starbucks. I am really digging this history of education class. I even ordered the professor’s book- he lives in Southest, Ohio. Pretty cool guy. I appreciate his feedback and politeness. He said he really appreciates my insight on history and perspectives on education. He even said he knows I will go far in the educational field. I appreciate professors encouraging me like that. Anyway I must run!
Had an excellent time with L this weekend. We went to The Cleveland Internatonal Air Show. We walked around and naturally L made friends with a gentleman who owned the infamous Bat Mobile. I took a picture which you can see here.
This guy’s name is Eugene. Nice guy- we liked him a lot. We got a lot of sun and we were both wiped out today. I went for a massage and then came home and just went to sleep. L called asking what I am doing tomorrow but I may just bum around the house. It is nice to be able to relax since I was able to finish my homework earlier this weekend.
Right now the laundry is going and I am just trying to figure out what housework needs to be done. I will probably vacuum and run the dishwasher. Other than that mostly everything is done. I might see if I can get my hair done tomorrow – I usually go to my mom’s friend but for the sake of having to work some more late nights- I might just up the ante to phony up the dough and treat myself to a spa day. My hair needs to be dyed, cut, and my eye brows need to be done. I guess I am high maintenance but hey gotta do what makes me happy
On another note and many disagree- I think Trump will get elected. I know I am for sure not voting for him. My friend turned me on to Gary Johnson- I like his position and will vote for him as a write in. L seems to think Hillary is the answer and I have to admit at first I was for her- but the more I dug the less I found I would want her to represent our great country. I think she is a phony and as much as I would love a female president. She is not the answer.
I am taking a World of History of Education course- and I really do like it. Very interesting and the reading is actually enjoyable. I am more than half way through my program- I believe I have 5 more courses after fall term.
Some of my fall goals are to focus more on on creative writing. I submitted some poems a few days ago. Alas- we will see. Poetry is not something you master – at least to me anyway. It is craft that one has to constantly adapt to- and hone the skill.
- I have a camera I am going to start using again! It takes such beautiful pictures and I figured why not start using it. I visit many places in downtown Cleveland and found this church . It is so beautiful and I believe this historic church has been there since the late 1890’s if I am not mistaken.
I actually took this picture with my phone but I thought that the picture came out okay. I have to polish my photography skills as it is a beloved hobby I want to revisit. I posted it via Instagram and was surprised at how many of my followers loved my photograph. In life we as humans get so drawn into the day to day hustle – we forget to pause and appreciate the beauty around us. Anyway enjoy!
I am not sure the year- I want to say 2009 but I could very well be mistaken. I met him through a mutual friend who invited me to his film group several times. I do not talk to this friend any longer as I believe L has not talked to him in a long time as well. Finally I took him up on the offer and there he was the man who I would fall for years later. The first time I met him- I thought he was great. He was a super nice guy. Shortly after that I was given his number and I called L asking if I could ride with him to the movie. I met him at his apartment and we got to know each other a little better. I started going to the movie meetings and L and I started spending more time together. One day he called me out of the blue and asked me to hang out. That’s when our bond was officially formed. We spent many days after that and became fond of each other’s company. I had an attraction long before I ever was honest with him about it.
It eventually came to a head one day when we just expressed how we felt about each other. It has been history ever since. I saw him last night and it was heaven. We compliment each other and where there is deep rooted love and commitment. We are the best of friends and we have unconditional and everlasting love. He keeps me in check and I keep him in check as well. Here is to the future!
So I keep seeing the recruiter from the staffing agency I from which I use to work. They are located in the same building as my current employer. Man that recruiter needs to get the stick out of her ass. Someone is bitter. Dirty looks – the stink eye. I finally just smiled at her which I am sure made her livid. Sorry that when I began to work for you- I told you that it was going to be just that- a temp job. A job to hold me over until I found what I wanted to do. After working at such a hell hope of a place- I was done just working – I want a career.
God forbid I wanted to further myself and find stable employment that affords me excellent compensation and benefits. You should be happy I stayed as long as I did and I did an excellent job. The supervisor on that job said she would have hired me on if she could. I went above and beyond as a temp and you know that. Sorry I can no longer be your data entry commission check bitch- I am an incarnate person meant to change the world. I am working in my field of choice. And I am impacting lives on a daily basis. What are you doing?
Holy shit- I can actually take a vacation out of the country and grasp ( wait for it) get paid for it. I actually can afford to furnish by soon to be new home with nice things. Even if I do buy stuff from the second hand store. I am a lot more modest than some people think. I am a bargain shopper to be honest- I like the finer things but I am always watching for deals. But I am able to live, feel like I am contributing to society, change lives, and do what I want to.
I went out and bought myself a pair of 1 karat diamond earrings. Great deal- excellent quality. I was like screw it. I deserve to treat myself and I did just that.
So to my former recruiter – may you have better days and your bitterness resolve. You are just pissed that you are no longer my superior. Hate to sound rude and hate feeling like this but I am going to say it! Time to get over your little temper tantrum and understand that you placed me in a temp job. I worked temporary for you and then I went out and found a real job. Makes sense?
Life has its ups and downs. But my life is going so good as of late. Work is extremely busy- My former coworker/friend just up and quit. Hate to say this but I think he made an awful mistake. I understand he did what he had to do, but man this company is going places. I wanted to tell him to hang on but he did not want to. See this is where I have changed – I simply keep things to myself. I only hang around excellent people and he was one of them. I grew tired of people asking for my advice then getting pissed off when I gave it to them. So I simply stopped. I am there for my friends but I have learned to take a back seat. I don’t make up the rules of the world nor am I Dr. Phil. I simply have no time for friends of the road and hanging around an exclusive few has greatly reduced drama and stress. See I have my circle of close friends- and that is who I am open with things. I tell them my problems as well as all the joy in my life. For example, L who I love is my best friend. I feel like sending a thank you note to his exes- he is that amazing. Stubborn and a little too kind. Now that I am in the picture I have told L how I feel. There nothing wrong with helping as we all need help once in a while. But some people take L for granted. I have sympathy for people to a point but L has his own problems. He is deeply hurting from his sister passing and work is exhausting to him. I wish people would do the things for L that he does for others. I guess maybe I am too bias because what I feel is absolute love for the man. I just worry about him because he has needs, wants, problems, dreams, desires, and his own life too.
I have to travel the next three weeks for work. Then I am going to Arizona in September to see my friend and then going on a cruise in October to the Caribbean. I cannot wait for Fall to get here it is going to be awesome.
I decided to volunteer this fall to help people learn to read. Plus the move is right around the corner- and I am excited I am going to adopt two cats. I have to buy a couch and I have a photo shoot coming up. I decided to hire my friend’s professional photographer friend. It was close to 4oo bucks which includes hair and makeup. I am not even sure what the going rate is for photo shoots but I am fond of her work.
Oh and some random thing. I entered a contest and won a Beligum Cruiser Bike. I have no use for it so I might give it to a charity or an upcoming raffle. I mean I could get money for it and if and when I do I will donate the money. I was going to take that money and put it away for when L and I go on our vacation next year- but if I get around half a grand for it- I would rather give it to charity. Our vacation is far off and I have this one particular charity I support. Well there are several or maybe I will split the money and give it to multiple charities- who really knows. But any chance I get I try to donate to good causes.
Wow- summer of 2016 is wrapping up. As much as I hate to say goodbye to summer( actually I welcome it) things have been hectic. My job is wonderful and I love what I do. I work in the educational field and loved that I have obtained stable employment.
We are short staffed but I have been holding down the fort so to speak. Not to toot my own horn but I have been excelling and shining like a star. It is nice to be part of a great team, love what I do, and receive excellent pay and benefits to boot.
Things with L are amazing- never knew what is was liked to be loved unconditionally. While our relationship is far from perfect- it works. When he holds me- I know I am loved. He went to a convention and came back with a autograph which I will show you!
That caught me off guard. I was over his house and he said go look over there. And there this beauty was and I will treasure it always. That is true unconditional love if you ask me. I know L is struggling- his lost his sister this year. I bought him this pretty butterfly shadow box with his sister’s name on it. He loved it!
I took classes over the summer and I am close to being done with my second graduate program. Someone asked me if a doctorate is in the cards and the answer is no. I am done with being a student and know I will go far in my current job. I was advised I am possibly getting a raise and I see a promotion in the near future here hopefully.
I have a call into my friend in Arizona as I would like to come see her in September and then my mom and are off to the Caribbean in October. At times when I became overwhelmed I was like it will be slowing down. Well I need to write another blog as I have to run!